Holiday Stress: How to Navigate “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”
Are you someone who struggles to catch the holiday spirit? If so, you’re not alone!
We’re knee-deep in the holiday season, and while some are reveling in “the most wonderful time of the year,” many of us feel… less festive. Maybe you’re tired of shelling out hundreds or even thousands of dollars. Maybe the thought of navigating chaotic family dynamics makes your stress levels skyrocket. Or maybe the holidays stir up feelings of loss or remind you of loved ones who are no longer here. If any of this resonates, let me reassure you: you’re not alone!
In fact, a lot of people secretly (or not-so-secretly) can’t stand the holidays. So, if you’re feeling a bit Grinchy, read on. We’re diving into the common reasons the holiday season feels like a slog and how to better navigate those emotions.
The Financial Squeeze
Let’s face it. The holidays are expensive. Last year alone, Americans spent nearly $1 trillion on holiday gifts. Yes. That’s trillion with a T! To put that into perspective, that’s more than the federal government allocated for education. No wonder Santa stays busy. He’s got serious job security!
But while holiday spending might fuel the economy, it can leave many of us running on E. Clients often tell me they feel intense pressure to, “make the holidays happen,” even when it’s not financially feasible. This stress can lead to burnout, anxiety, and even depression.
So how do you cope? Start with a plan and stick to it.
For some, this might mean creating a separate holiday budget. This helps you get real about your spending power and avoid those dreaded January credit card statements. Others find joy in shifting the focus from things to experiences. From a mental health perspective, this can be a game-changer. Material gifts are nice but creating meaningful moments together fosters connection without breaking the bank. Remember, the true beauty of the holidays isn’t in what you buy but in who you spend your time with.
Family Feuds
Ah, family. They can make the holidays magical. Or maddening. For many, navigating tricky family dynamics is the ultimate holiday challenge. Whether it’s tension-filled gatherings or unresolved issues coming to the surface, family stress has a way of stealing the holiday cheer.
When clients share these concerns, we often take a deeper dive into their family dynamics. While the holidays tend to amplify everything, the root issues usually run deeper. My advice? Start with boundaries.
Boundary-setting usually starts with having open conversations about sensitive topics. While these conversations can be tough, addressing the root cause of the tension can pave the way for healthier relationships year-round. Setting healthy boundaries my also result in deciding to skip certain gatherings altogether. This may seem counterintuitive, but if being around certain family members is intolerable, it’s okay to remove yourself from the equation if having real conversations about issues falls on deaf ears. Protecting your peace is always a valid choice.
Coping with Loss
For those who’ve experienced loss, the holidays can be bittersweet. Or just plain bitter. Whether you’ve lost someone during this season or are simply missing a loved one, it’s hard to feel joyful when your traditions feel incomplete.
Grief during the holidays is especially complicated by the guilt that can accompany moments of happiness. I often remind clients: grief and joy can coexist. Allow yourself to feel both. Joyful moments don’t diminish your grief. Rather, they’re part of the healing process. Leaning into those moments can help you honor your loved one’s memory in meaningful, positive ways without feeling bad for experiencing happiness.
Reclaim the Season!
No matter what makes the holidays tough for you, there are steps you can take to reclaim the season. A little planning, boundary-setting, and self-compassion can go a long way in bringing back some holiday cheer!
Until next time,
Dr. McCall
